for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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