He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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