i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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