Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
