i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
