you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
