So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
