your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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