he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
