Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
