Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
