Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
