I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
