That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
be right there i have to get my cape
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
