Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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