In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Your penis caused this!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
