I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
a search helicopter?!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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