Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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