do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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