I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
