i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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