I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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