Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
