GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize