did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
