This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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