SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
