Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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