I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
