Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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