one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
