just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
