maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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