So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
