can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
