it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
