Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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