I've blown a few things in my day
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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