hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
