You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
