My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
