Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
