And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
