Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
