i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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