I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He passed out mid-signature
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
