I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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