The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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