Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
