i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
