I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
