chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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