I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
